Something Which Every Person (Be It A Flabby Balloon Or Be It A Scrawny Scarecrow) Ought to Read

I have a question for you, darling reader: what's the worst thing in this world?

Nope. It's not corrupt government officials. It's not riots or wars or any other forms of violence. It's definitely not malnourished children barely scraping by in third world countries. 

Turns out, the worst thing in this world is - gasp! - gaining weight. 

Nope. I'm not kidding. 

Gaining weight is not good, according to the societal norms. Once you gain weight, you look like you've been having food that you actually like, you look like your health is stable and it seems like you're actually comfortable in your (horrendously flabby!) skin. 

And, my dears, we don't want that, do we? 

We live in a world where stick-thin people - who refuse to eat food which they are lucky they can have - are idolized. We live in a world where people who are healthy are considered as some sort of hideous balls who don't deserve to be within our presence. 

So, as a concerned blogger, I would love to give a few tips to my darling reader, so that they can be as skinny as a scarecrow. 

And of course, I am allowed to give such tips. If there are some great (*cough* dumbasses *cough*) people like fashion reporters allowed to slam people for gaining weight, then why shouldn't I? 

***

There are two ways through which you can stay as skinny as a toothpick. 

NUMBER ONE: 

Darling reader, if you're a millionaire, then you can go to a doctor and get liposuction done. Oh, who's got time for dieting and exercising when you can easily get all that gross fat removed and be a walking-talking toothpick! 

NUMBER TWO: 

This is a slightly longer process, dear reader. You need to have a great deal of patience to go through this lengthy procedure. 

I'm listing out the process - IN DETAIL - just so you can follow it properly. 

1. Step One: After a lot of people have criticized you for your weight, take a good at yourself in the mirror. After surveying those huge layers of fat, start crying and cursing God. You moan about how much you hate your life when you have everything - from a loving family to the best education possible.
   
2. Step Two: You start having less food. You do it so subtly that nobody will ever notice the fact that you're not getting the nutrients you require.
   
   You stop eating everything that you like, such as food
   
3. Step Three: Voila! After a month or so, you look sallow, pale and horrible.
   
4. Step Four: Now, how does it feel to be a human skeleton? It feels great, doesn't it?

***

And that's how, dear readers, you can become absolutely skinny as a pencil!

Now, now, now.

You would have been an idiot to actually believe that I endorse anorexia or any other horrific disaster.

Why on earth would I, the girl who always hates people-shaming, actually believe in something that totally screams people shaming?

I've always hated this bias people have towards those who are on the healthier side. The way people say, "Oh, she/he is fat."? It feels like they've murdered the president of the country in their past life or whatever.

Before I talk about anything else, let me tell you a bit from my personal experience.

I've always been on the thinner side, not because I have a fantastic metabolism or because I literally starve. But it's because I take a lot more time to eat than Kumbhakaran from Ramayana takes to wake up from his six-month sleep.

Plus, I'm a horribly picky eater - a habit that I'm told I share with my uncle and my grand-uncle (that is, my grandmother's second brother). So, you see, I'm very, very selective about what I eat.

However, once I hit puberty (around the time I was fourteen), I started gaining weight.

It was in tenth grade, when my weight increased by ten kilos. And that was when I experienced my first fat-shaming experience.

My weight difference wasn't too huge, but at that time, it shocked me. I found it difficult to adjust to the fact that my body was changing and I was growing up.

Yet, there was this friend of mine, who found my thoughts really hilarious and made it a point to tell the whole world, "Oh, don't you think Archie's gone fat?" and start laughing like the guy who spoke at the end of Michael Jackson's Thriller song.

It stung. It really did. Because what kind of friends do that?

After a point of time, as her merciless teasing went on, I realized that there was no point in me being affected negatively by her teasing. I realized I liked my body as it was and I realized:

SIZES DO NOT MATTER! 

 The main point of this post is, dear reader, is that being fat isn't a bad thing. At all.

Indeed, obesity is not healthy and it can result in seriously harmful consequences.

But being round isn't bad. No one has ever written in the holy books that being fat is a sin. There are, in fact, much worse things than being fat.

As J.K. Rowling had put it so well, "Is 'fat' really the worst thing a human being can be? Is 'fat' worse than 'vindictive', 'jealous', 'shallow', 'vain', 'boring' or 'cruel'?"

Honestly speaking, why is there so much emphasis on weight and other physical attributes when there's so much more to talk about? Why aren't people realizing that not everybody is the Photoshopped supermodel that you see on advertisements? Why aren't people actually judging a person for his/her merit and are judging them on the oodles of kilos they're piling on?

Advertisements, magazines... MEDIA.

Why are some people given the right to decide how an ideal person should look like? Why are there so many stupid gossip news channels releasing flak for people for not being in the size range mandated by these SO CALLED FASHION CRITICS!?

We mustn't ignore these morons, dear reader. We have to show them what we're capable of.

And no, I'm not suggesting is that all we do is selfies and hashtag it with stuff like #selflove #bebeautifulbeingyourself or whatever.

Take the Selena Gomez route.

I think it was this year when Selena Gomez was shamed for gaining weight, especially because pictures of her were released wherein a lot of negative comments were released: Oh, she's so FAT AND UGLY. WHY DOESN'T SHE GO TO THE GYM OR WHATEVER?

Of course, Selena was hurt. Who wouldn't be when you're mercilessly criticized just because of your weight fluctuations? Moreover, those comments were by people who she did not even know and those people were saying horrific things as they sat in front of the computer just to let out their frustrations on a young 23-year-old woman.

Yet, she didn't let that get to her and look at her today, months later - she's released a kickass album and is taking the world by storm! She's bagged awards, she's being lauded for being such a strong personality and guess what's the best part? She literally took that negativity and converted into something extremely positive!

So, dear reader, do not be bogged down by the diktats of a bunch of dumb, nasal-toned bullies who make money out of making other people miserable. Do things that you love. Be passionate about what your doing. Give your all to get the job done. Work hard and you will reach great heights - far away from the negativity.

Before I conclude, let me be honest about a couple of things:

• This post was solely created to make everyone feel beautiful about themselves and it was not created to shame anyone with a particular type of body.
  
• If there are people who wish to be healthy, fit and fine, that's perfectly all right. If they wish to do cardio, that's their right.
  
  But if they wish to just starve just to be under the 'skinny' bracket, then I'm sorry. They should never do that because starving oneself or forcing oneself to vomit is horrible. You're literally subjecting your body to a LOT of strain.
  
• This post wasn't created to shame girls who are naturally skinny for being skinny. Look, being thin by birth or having a great metabolism isn't bad at all, either.
  
  
  IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR WAIST SIZE IS. AS LONG AS YOU DO GOOD AND BE GOOD, EVERYTHING ELSE IS IRRELEVANT
  
• In order to strengthen my last point, I'd like to add:
  
  To all those people who say, "real women have curves", here's what I have to say to you - real women have sense which they use when they speak. Unlike you lot, who are unfairly judging a lot of people with their natural body type.

A quote for you to realize how beautiful you truly are

Stay awesome as ever,

Much love,

Archie <3

P.S., If I have been wrong in any way, do correct me.