I Don't Know About You, But I'm Not Quite Feeling 22

Once upon a time, there was a legendary singer called Taylor Swift who came up with a legendary song called ‘22’. 

That song, if you haven’t had the privilege to ‘bop to it’, talks about how you feel happy, freaked, confused and lonely at the same time when you’re 22. 

Me? 

I turned 22 last September. 

Confused and lonely? Sure, I feel that a lot. 

Freaked? Oh, I’m the queen of freak-out-o-holics. 

Happy? 

Hmm… that really depends. 

***

I got done with my post-graduate fellowship program last June. 

And that experience, mind you, was the most profound year of my life till that point. 

I was learning every single day. I met the most fascinating people on a day-to-day basis and I was getting challenged in every possible way. It was like the first renaissance of my life. 

When I graduated, I was so optimistic and so full of hope. 

And at this point? I’m in a bit of a funk that I’m constantly trying to get out of. 

If I’m being frank with you, I really shouldn’t be complaining. I am truly grateful that I have a great job that I really love and I have the coolest support system in the form of my family and friends. 

But there’s this unshakeable feeling of a funk that doesn’t seem to go away. 

And I don’t think it’s just me. A lot of early 20-somethings with whom I’ve extensively spoken to are going through this too. 

I like to call it the 22-year-old-funk. 

You’d go: Oh, Archiekins. You’re so original. And then you’d roll your eyes at me.

But it’s true. 

Everywhere I see, I see everyone in my age bracket feeling this. 

Some are paranoid about their friendships, some are paranoid about their careers, some are paranoid about their relationships.

They either become hermits or flaunt like crazy on social media. 

Oh, this 22-year-old funk. 

It isn’t kidding around. It’s encroaching every sphere of our lives. 

CAREER LIFE

I graduated in a legendary economy, where there are many hopeful graduates and hopeless jobs. I made it to the final round of an interview for a role that required around 2-3 years of experience, but I got the oddest, coldest rejection.

And that? It really set me off on a spiral.

After an entire month of working my butt off on applications, socializing on Facebook professional network groups and LinkedIn and lowkey trying to evade nosy relatives who seemed to strongly believe that I am a hopeless cause with no prospects, I finally did get a job.

And it’s a pretty great one at that. Luckily, I got into the industry I always wanted to get into and every day, I’m learning so much, it’s not even funny. For that, I’m really, really  grateful.

Yet, I can’t help but get worried at how difficult it has been to find jobs. There are batchmates of mine, who qualified the toughest examination in the country and are jobless right now. There are close friends of mine who have been struggling to find jobs with little success.

And then there are these super brave-hearts I know, who are leaving jobs left right and centre because the job profiles aren’t ‘good enough’.

It’s so disorienting to see a scenario like this.

Job searching, dear reader? It is a huge pain in the butt. There’s a lot of disappointment, lot of rejection and a LOT of re-prioritizing.

And then there’s the perennial added confusion for those of us who are working:  Okay, I finally got into the industry that I wanted to. Now what?

Now, what, really?

Working and adulting requires a LOT more soul-searching than I thought it did.

SOCIAL LIFE

What really aggravates me about the 22-year-old funk is how we are constantly in the compulsive need to show off our lives. 

Okay, I’ve had my fair share of oversharing, I’ll admit. 

But now, it’s become such a pressure to show how social one really is. 

Every day, I see a bunch of my old classmates posting Instagram and WhatsApp stories after stories, 

trying to flaunt how happening their lives are. 

At one end, I feel pressurized. I start freaking out and thinking, “Oh, am I not social enough? What am I doing with my life? I am working full-time and volunteering over the weekends – that’s IT. I am not going to XYZ pretentious fest and taking pretentious photos! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!” 

And if you’re on the same boat as me? I’m assuming that you feel the same. 

And I’m pretty sure you’d also feel irritated at such serial flaunters like I do now. 

Now, after a lot of emotional discussions with myself and attempting to accept my social life, I get so annoyed with these serial flaunters. 

Why would these idiots keep posting, day in and day out? What are they trying to compensate for? 

God only knows. 

LOVE LIFE

Though in the past I might have associated myself as someone with not a single romantic bone in my body, now, my view about romance is changing. 

I mean, no, I haven’t transformed myself into a hippie desperately waiting for a mythical Prince Charming. But now, I’m opening myself to the idea of being in romantic relationships. 

Is it peer pressure of seeing every third lukkha falling in love or my gal pals getting paranoid about their parents searching for rishtas? Or is it just me, trying to move on after a petty heartbreak that really cut me up for a couple of years straight?  

I really don’t know. 

But what I know is, I am now fine with being in a romantic relationship with someone. 

And no, I don’t want to match with some guy on Tinder or go out on a string of flings. And certainly no, I do NOT want to be with some guy over whom I get moony-eyed and act like a ditzy freakshow. 

I want to know that guy really well and he has to know me really well. I want to be able to have intellectual conversations with him and goof off. I want… 

Stability and honesty, I guess? 

(Okay, this is sounding way too much like a Rishta.com ad) 

The irritating part is, the old school Elizabeth-Darcy-esque romance is a little tough to find in a world full of Tinder matches. 

So, to the nice guy out there, waiting (or not waiting, IDK) for me: 

You can ask me out now, as long as you’re not a creep. 

I won’t bite. 

THE FUTURE

As I take a look back and read what I’ve written so far, I think I should stop whining and actually change the funk up a little. 

I should, like the amazing Shonda Rhimes says, say ‘YES’ to different opportunities and experiences. 

I shouldn’t whine about, acting like my life is over, when it’s just starting. 

And if there’s any other 22-year-old reading this, I hope you get out of your 22-year-old funk too. 

Stay awesome as ever,

Much love

Archie <3