The Dreaded 'D' Word

Every afternoon, when I came back from school, my grandmother would have this Ekta Kapoor serial on called Pavitra Rishta. 

Compared to her other histrionic classics, this was about a middle-class Maharashtrian family, grounded in reality. The story was comparatively realistic and the main leads weren't jazzy wannabe stars, but looked normal, like you and me. And they were convincing, not over-the-top, like most soap opera stars tend to be. 

A couple of years later, the male lead went on to debut in a Bollywood movie - which had fun songs and a decent-ish plot. His acting was well appreciated and noticed. 

Post that, he went on to do quite a lot of interesting movies, some of which, I enjoyed watching in the theaters. Some works were blockbusters, while some weren't exactly raking in the moolah. 

But there was one thing constant - that guy could act really well, no matter what the role was and had tremendous potential. And looking at his incredible talent, I always felt that he was one of those actors who could shine out in any movie, no matter how the script was. I always felt that he would make a mark in the industry, come what may. 

Unfortunately, I guess I thought too soon. 

This afternoon, my grandmother (who's become our family's in-house reporter during this time), came scurrying in the bedroom to say that this upcoming star was no more. 

It turned out, he'd committed suicide today. 

You know who that guy was? 

His name was Sushant Singh Rajput. 

Sushant Singh Rajput. Academically brilliant student. Phenomenal actor. Passionate about science. Compassionate philanthropist. 

You'd think, with all the success he'd seen, his life was peachy, no? 

But it turns out, life doesn't seem preachy when you're suffering from depression.

***

Depression. 

The dreaded 'D' word. 

People toss this word around a lot. They use it to denote their temporal sadness. They think that it can be cured easily, just as quickly as a snap of a finger. 

They don't realize, how grave depression actually is. 

Like Sushant, there are so many people out there, who have carrying this Vetal on their backs. Day in, day out, they are getting weighed down by trauma of their past. Day in, day out, they live with the belief that nothing is going to work out and the universe is conspiring to make their world a worse place. Day in, day out, they are all alone, imagining a world which is completely distorted and agonizingly painful for them. 

What I wrote just now is just a humble (if not pitiful) attempt at trying to understand the gallows of depression. What's all the more scarier about it is... how hidden it actually is. 

You never, ever, know who really has it, until it's explicitly spelled out to you, in the most cataclysmic of ways. 

It could be the guy who made fun of you, for all these years. It could be the girl you call out as 'too-try-hard. It could be someone you deeply, deeply love from the bottom of your heart. Or it could be someone who you always detested. 

You won't know it. Unless you see it for yourself, the pain it causes to your loved one. 

Even then, there's not a lot you can do about it. Unlike physical ailments, there has never been a cookie-cutter way of understanding how to 'treat' depression. 

Moreover, the fact that talking about mental health is such a stigma worldwide, really grates on my nerves. And what's all the more worse is the fact that the people who are facing mental health issues are scared into hiding it. 

If at all... if at all you get to know that someone you love is going through depression, it can be agonising. 

As your loved one is plunging into a deep, dark abyss of nothingness, often, you're left helpless. As you see them lose hope about their life and do things which are unpredictable, you have no clue whatsoever what's going on and what might happen next. There's not a lot you can do except...

Be there. 

Be mindful of what you say.

Be honest, but use your words in a way that won't hurt the person. Encourage them, but don't overdose them with saccharine compliments. Stay in touch, show that you care about them. 

Don't just dismiss someone's mental illness as them 'having a funk'. Don't just ignore them because they are being too mopey for your liking. And don't you dare to make fun of them for not behaving in the way you expect them to be. 

And dear reader, if you're someone who is actually going through a mental health issue, I would like to tell you this: 

I may not be an expert on solving your problems with a swish of a wand. I am just a highly opinionated 22-year-old, who - on more than one occasion - makes the stupidest of statements and makes a fool of herself. 

But I do want to tell you this: you, my friend, are capable of doing so many wonderful things. You may not necessarily believe me, but there are so many people out there who love you - your family, your closest friends and who want the best for you. Keep your hope alive - the times are tough, but you, my dear reader, are a lot tougher than that and you will come out of it. 

***

As someone who really admired his tenacity and passion to be better at his craft, I feel terribly disturbed that Sushant was compelled to commit suicide. People like him and Irrfan Khan instilled hope that in this unfair world, ruled by privileged silver spoon brats, there could be people who made their mark. 

And like them, there are so many people out there, who have so much to offer to this world but are trapped by inner demons that we know nothing of. 

For all of us, all I can say is this:

We can start by doing one thing - by being a good person and being mindful of what we say or express. Especially in times like this, where many are isolating at home and could use some help and comfort.  

This world is a mess now. Do not add to its chaos.

Be good, for a change, it's not rocket science. 

Stay safe, 

Much love,

Archie <3