Prince Charming Ek Dhoka Hai

Prince Charming ek dhoka hai. 

There. I said it. 

Prince Charming is a bloody scam. It's a social construct that's fooling us into accepting ridiculous norms, even against our better instincts. 

I'm pretty sure, you'd go, "Well, how would you know? Hanging out with your guy friends at movies, plays and dances doesn't make you an expert on love!"  

Nope, it doesn't. 

But if Sima Taparia, with her 100% fail rate, can confidently call herself India's 'top matchmaker', then who's stopping me from giving my two cents on love? 

PRINCE CHARMING - THE SAVIOR THAT ACTUALLY DOESN'T EXIST

If you look at all the fairy tales in the world, there's always one common template: 

Girl is in a shit place in life. She's super sweet, super nice and super innocent. Because of her becharapan, she falls prey to an evil entity. Many times, it's her stepmother or some evil fairy who got fukat ka angsty because she didn't get invited to a party. 

In most oft retold versions, our heroine, instead of facing her own problems which she is perfectly capable of facing, is just... there. She does nothing, when we KNOW that there's a lot she can do. 

Instead, we have... Prince Charming. 

This fellow is tall, handsome, intelligent and kind. He swoops in and saves the day, always. Our poor heroine doesn't even have to 'waste her time' to get her job done. Why should she? 

We have... Prince Charming. 

I hoped that the whole trope of Prince Charming really ended with our childhood. 

But more often than not, I STILL come across girls who keep praying for a Prince Charming, who'd make things 'all right' and make their boring lives 'sparkly'. I know girls who literally write letters to their 'Prince Charming' and write that they (the girls) deserve to be treated like queens at all times, while doing nothing. And they keep praying that they get someone who is rich, handsome and educated. 

At the same time, they continue to be the victims of their story, when they could be agents of their own narrative. Because apparently, Prince Charming will 'take care of everything'. 

And I think... there's a deeper reasoning behind it. 

THE 'PICTURE-PERFECT PRINCESS'

A year ago, someone told me, "I don't think people particularly ask you about your marriage because you're so outspoken and opinionated. I guess they ask me because I'm quiet and look mature." 

When she said that, I remember feeling quite offended. 

(Don't say, "What else is new? You ALWAYS get offended.") 

I didn't feel offended because someone had low-key insinuated that I was less 'marriageable' than them. 

What triggered me was, I didn't realize until I turned 22 that there was apparently a certain way to be the perfect princess, the perfect wife. 

Apparently, the perfect girl was supposed to be super thin and pretty. If she wasn't pretty as per the conventional standards set by the society of our times, she had to dress a certain way to showcase that she is 'presentable'. 

And stuff like education, career or... personality? Who the fuck even cares? A good Princess doesn't need any of that. She just needs to look conventionally good and be 'quiet'. Rest doesn't matter. 

Look, I know that there are girls who want to be focused on their family lives and don't need to focus on their careers. And I also know that there are girls who are hyperfocused on their academics, careers and passions, while not being interested in harmonious matrimony. 

That's perfectly all right. I think they would have come to that conclusion on their own. If they've accepted themselves and made their choice with complete autonomy, it is perfectly okay. 

What's not okay is the set of people in families forcing their daughters to look a certain way. They force these girls to 'slim down' because being fat won't get them their Prince Charmings. They force them to look fairer by slapping too much Fair Glow and Lovely. They keep making statements like, "You have to look a certain way, otherwise no guy would bother marrying you."

What's worse, I'm literally seeing quite a few of my peers conforming to these standards. Girls who had such a strong sense of individuality are now struggling to stand up to these unrealistic norms. Every other day, they have to listen to stuff like they're not 'pretty enough', 'homely enough' and whatnot! 

If a guy really wants a doormat that bad, he could get it from D-Mart. Why is there a need to marry a poor thing who's forced to be one? 

PYAAR KIYA TOH DARNA KYA?

And here's the last thing. 

Since aeons ago, there's this expectation that when two people are in love, the guy has to make the first move. Always. 

If the girl makes the first move, it's social suicide. 

Why?

If I could answer that question, dear reader, I would have been a Nobel Prize winner by now. 

Anyway. 

I don't understand why is it that unrequited love is such a taboo when it comes to women. In every third movie or book, you always have a guy pining for the unattainable girl. There's hardly any pop culture piece where you see a girl pining for the guy or telling him about it. 

All of this, I think has significantly influenced the way girls operate in real life. I've hardly seen girls be frank about their romantic feelings. 

Sure, I've seen them giggle and feel oh-so-fluttery in private. But have any of them gone up to the 'object' of their affection and told them, "Hey, guess what? I like you!" 

That would be a big fat nope. 

What's the worst that could happen really? The fellow doesn't like you back. 

What's worse than that? The person would probably make fun of you for the rest of your life, while feeling totally smug about it. 

But what could be better? You'd probably grow out of your feelings and consider that person for as your true friend.

It's not the end of the world if you express your feelings to someone you like. 

I know a girl who told two guys that she liked them. She's not had a Happily Ever After with them. One of those guys is a good friend of hers and she has no clue what the other really thinks about her 'confession'. 

If she could find out, dear reader, she would have surely been a Nobel Prize winner by now.  

But she's the storyteller of her own fairy tale. She's doing what she loves the most and is constantly grateful for the solid circle of loved ones who constantly encourage her to be better and support her at every step of the way. 

And that I guess, that's what love truly is. To love and be loved by ones who're always there for you.

*** 

Happy Valentine's Day, dear reader. Hope you enjoyed this day with your loved ones. 

Taken from here.

Stay awesome as ever,

Much love,

Archie <3